Blooming Into Better Communication: Practicing Nonviolent Communication with Ourselves and Others

Yay! Spring has sprung!! Spring often can be a gentle invitation to bloom again. The air feels a little lighter, the days a little brighter—and if you lean in just close enough, there’s a whisper of growth calling your name. As buds open and nature wakes up around us, I can’t help but reflect on what it means to bloom internally—particularly in how we speak to ourselves and others. Lately, I’ve been talking with so many clients about communication: what we say, how we say it, and most importantly—how we feel before we even open our mouths. Spoiler alert: how we talk to ourselves sets the tone for how we show up in every single relationship we have.

That’s where Nonviolent Communication (NVC) comes in.

Before we can bloom in our relationships, we need to nourish our roots—and those roots are your inner dialogue. You know, the one that runs 24/7 like your brain has its own radio show.

Nonviolent Communication, developed by Marshall Rosenberg, is often used in conflict resolution, but its magic is so much deeper. It’s about connecting with ourselves and others with empathy, clarity, and authenticity. And friend, it starts with you.

Let’s bring some mindfulness into this: Are you aware of the tone you use when you talk to yourself? Would you speak to a friend the way you speak to you?

Take a breath. Gently notice the dialogue. No judgment. Just awareness. That’s the first step.

Here’s the foundation of Nonviolent Communication—think of it like a four-petal flower:

1. Observation – What’s actually happening? What do you see, hear, notice—without judgment or evaluation?

2. Feelings – What are you feeling in response?

3. Needs – What need is (or isn’t) being met beneath that feeling?

4. Request – What do you want to ask for that would meet that need?

Let’s try it internally.

Instead of: “Ugh, I’m such a mess. I never get things right.”
Try: “I noticed I made a mistake. I feel frustrated because I have a need for competence and clarity. I’d like to take a break and then try again.”

Do you feel the difference?

One is punishing. The other is powerful.

This practice creates a pause—a breath, a moment of mindfulness—to meet yourself with curiosity and compassion, rather than criticism. When you speak to yourself this way, you begin to create internal safety. And that’s what helps you bloom.

When we practice NVC with ourselves, we become more resourced and grounded to use it with others. Instead of reacting from a triggered place, we respond from a centered one.

Imagine saying to a loved one: “When I saw the dishes left in the sink, I felt overwhelmed because I really need support at the end of my workday. Would you be willing to help with cleanup tonight?”

This kind of language is honest and kind. Clear and connected. It’s not about avoiding conflict—it’s about choosing communication that fosters closeness instead of distance. And yes, it takes practice. But hey, so does blooming.

Here’s your invitation:

🌱 Practice NVC with yourself this week.

🌱 Pause and name what you observe, feel, need, and request.

🌱 Use mindfulness to check in gently—no pressure, just presence.

🌱 Notice how shifting your inner dialogue begins to shift your outer world.

Let your words be water. Let your breath be sunlight.

You are worthy of blooming in how you speak to yourself and others. Because communication is not just what you say—it’s how you care.